What Women Definitely Don’t Want In A Man

More FREE Dating Advice For Shy Men at www.TooShyToDate.com To Double Your Confidence Sign Up For The “Challenge” here www.doubleyourconfidencechallenge.com In this video Dating Coach Stephan Erdman explains why what women want in a guy is usually not what guys think women want. In particular why in general the idea of making a lot of effort around women you like doesn’t get the desired effect, instead creates the perception that you feel inferior to her which destroys attraction very quickly. This might make you come across as needy or even as a potential emotional burden going forward. To get all my new videos on all things confidence and dating please SUBSCRIBE by hitting the nice orange button up right on the page…and get more FREE Dating Advice For Shy Men at http


  1. smithjustinn says

    thanks, great advice

  2. jetblackram says

    I think this rings true, especially for me. I have tried time an time again to appear interesting to a woman, often going as far as to say and act how I don’t normally act. Not only does it leave me feeling particuarly cold or hollow, but obviously doesn’t impress the girl I’m with.

  3. minotaur3004 says

    Hey Stephan, I’m a very quiet and shy guy and when I talk to girls I either panic and say a lot of stuff which I think sounds wierd and makes them feel awekward or I just don’t talk. It’s a difficult situation but could you give me some advice
    Cheers mate 🙂

  4. NeverMind88888 says

    Not sure what that could mean… :/

  5. crazylizardguts says

    if my gf has already gave me a bj does that mean she likes me?

  6. stephanerdman says

    @kj5383 Hi Stephan here, in short: It didn’t make you look like a stalker.
    My guess is she was challenging you and didn’t mean you were REALLY a stalker.
    She started a conversation with you to see what you would do.
    (I have in fact said the SAME THING to girls who I have met twice in a short time, in a playful, mock serious way…to see how they react.)
    One way of handling it could have been: “Me?? I was just thinking the same thing about YOU”. And if she was serious she’s a little nuts. Stephan

  7. ok i have 1 question back in december a girl thought i was a stalker cause i was at the same place at the same time she was. can you explain how that made me look like a stalker?

  8. DritonGusia says

    I guess the past had more friendly cultures, because in the past sex had nothing to do with shame
    For thousands of years Abrahamic religions (and many others) has linked sex with sin and people just kinda departured from it
    And thats how all children stories teach us,AND THE PRINCE FOUGHT to rescue the princes locked up in the tower
    we embrace a dogma that preaches that the humans are inferior beings
    …long story, we just forget that were dealing with just a fucking human being sometimes

  9. fuck HITCH this is the guy !!!!

  10. sactown900 says

    This is SO TRUE it’s SCARY. It just WORKS.

  11. lilfreako2009 says

    hey this vid is tight i need help with all that!!!!

  12. naturefreak95 says

    THis video just really depends on the girl, but girls normally don’t like it when guys show off because they normally act arrogant and act like a jerk.

    They like it when the guy act like themselves instead of trying to impress them which isn’t really them….but then again I’m a girl and I like impressing guys, sometimes, so it’s not just a guy thing…

  13. naturefreak95 says

    One of the hardest things to do is to determine what is okay to show off on and what is not. trying to be macho is not. it’s actually can get really annoying and just makes people worry.

    again just depends on the girl.

    but i and I’m sure other girls will agree that we like it when they are relaxed and not trying to be anyone, but themselves.

    I want to know the guy and not what he thinks I want.
    Just be yourself even if you’re not sure.

  14. Devon187 says

    paradigm shift

  15. elianmaier says

    Totally true…

  16. TheRealDirtyScary says

    a stalker? that’s a little extreme. I would say men feel like they can’t be themselves because they have such high expectations.

  17. souljasai says

    yeah, ok asain…

  18. MeLiPoKi says

    AGREED!!!!!!!! i much prefer when guys are just relaxing and haning out with me..when guys are all over girls it does get weird…guys just b urself!!!!

  19. henrylin1993 says

    speak louder man

  20. 666Hellsing says

    5 stars

  21. stephanerdman says

    Stephan here: I didn’t understand what you meant to say in the second half of the sentence…but here is the thing:
    instead of trying to stop impressing girls…forget about impressing anyone altogether. (and trying)
    Enjoy yourself with girls…Ask yourself: How am I going to have fun with this girl? The point of talking to a girl is to see if she is fun to hang out with…so u can decide if you want to take her number..It’s a completely different mindset than “trying to impress”..and it works

  22. lankey102 says

    well i thnk i actually do try to do this, so i guess i shud try to stop impressin girls and just try to make them feel like they impress evrythin is dat?

  23. LTopomcFly says

    Great advice

  24. stephanerdman says

    Good point Hip…;-)
    I actually just recorded another video about why it’s crucial to be able to have a decent conversation with a guy or anyone really before you start trying to hitting on supermodels! So you are making a good point!
    Thanks for posting and glad you’re getting a lot from my stuff! Stephan

  25. MrHipHopopotamus says

    Another great vid, Stephan! Eveything you said is true and very applicable to meeting women.

    I feel I may be getting this down to some degree, because I sometimes get girls making a comment like “This is so cool, I feel like we’re talking like old friends and I just met you!” Which is my goal, pursue a girl without making her feel ‘pursued’, which can happen with trying to hard, peppering her with questions, being too reactive to her, etc. It can be toxic not just to girls, but friends too

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