This picture shows a clear example of a swine flu date…

To be safe, you shouldn’t be kissing strangers, especially not on arrival at any airport, as you never know who is carrying the swine flu these days.

For what I learned, not being allowed to kiss is quite the norm when you read this free Korean dating post.

Free Lesbian Dating Services

For those not in favor of heterosexual swine flu transmissions, try our free lesbian dating services and look for a lesbian date at free online lesbian dating

Technorati Tags: flu, free korean dating, lesbian dating, swine flu, swine flu date

This post finishes with Japanese girls trying to kill anybody eating smiling dolphins… How did things get out of hand?

It all started when DPsan bought his belovered Goddess the Shogun DVD…

Yet after all the Japanese posts I made, vivid reader DPsan failed miserably in saying I love you in Japanese.

Quite the opposite: DPsan loves dolphins, smiling dolphins, the ones you could find being grilled in his garden. Seems that the Japanese whale hunters have now a follower in good old England.

In DPsan’s defense, he did try his beAst to learn Japanese watching the DVD Shogun with actor Richard CameFromSpain: not surprisingly -Spain- the country where they still have bullfights killing bulls with yet again swords.

In the defense of the dolphins, I am sending over my Japanese class mates who equally as DPsan love shogun…

..equally love chopping stuff… not only Japanese stuff… and size doesn’t matter…

… not to be overly exaggerating, just trying to prove a point. A sharp point obviously.

DPsan, you better learn how to say in Japanese " I am sorry, I love dolphins anywhere but on my plate". Otherwise the above Japanese Chopping-Squad knows where you live (love that expression 70’s teen!)….

• For those who want to date Japanese girls, read further here about how to date a Japanese bath girl – or so you should imagine…
   
• For those who want to learn Japanese, read our reviewed and recommended Japanese courses here.

Technorati Tags: daddy paper surfer, dolphins, DPsan, friends, Japanese Girls, la vache qui rite, Richard Chamberlain, shogun

If not, then we will teach you how to get balls: origami balls that is!

And now that Israel is forming a new government and to prevent a new Gaza war, we recommend they import origami guns.

Technorati Tags: how to make origami, origami, origami balls, origami guns

McCain uses Hilton’s parents money to make fun of Paris Hilton: is McCain ready to lead???

Paris Hilton MAKES money online

The only way to make money online is to make sure you have something to offer that people want.

You can see the latest video of sexy socialite Paris Hilton at Paris Hilton Stockings. Reading the previous sentence Paris gives people:

• sex and
• gossip

The money she earns, she earns by her own hard work, and not because she gets sponsored by others.

McCain SPENDS money

McCain gets money from sponsors like the parents of Paris Hilton and spends the money on making video’s where he compares Obama with the daughter of his sponsor…

So McCain isn’t ashamed to raise money like beggars do, he isn’t ashamed either to endorse videos that joke with the daughter of his sponsors…

Is McCain ready to lead or is McCain just ready to spend more taxpayers money in order to joke with the taxpayers?

Technorati Tags: barack obama, John McCain, Make Money Online, McCain, News, obama, Paris Hilton, politics

Richard Quest CNN 1.000.000 dollar question: why is there always such a strange grimace on his face?

Answer:

CNN broadcaster Richard Quest was picked up by New York police at approximately 3:40 am with 1 grimace too far.

The officers revealed Richard’s grimace secrets:

• a sex toy hidden in his boot and
• a rope (see picture on the right) tied around his neck that was attached to his concealed genitals.

Try to keep a straight face yourself now!

The future of Richard Quest and CNN

According to Quest’s lawyer, "Mr. Quest didn’t realize that the park had a curfew,he was simply returning to his hotel with friends."

At a hearing in Manhattan Criminal Court, Quest agreed to undergo six months of drug counseling in return for an "adjournment in contemplation of dismissal," which means the misdemeanor charges against him will be dropped and the case sealed if he stays out of trouble and completes his drug program.

No offence Richard Quest CNN won’t be the same would he be replaced by some donkey without a smile. So keep us amused Richard!

Technorati Tags: 1 million dollar question, broadcaster, cnn, grimace, lawyer, new york police, NYDP, richard quest, richard quest CNN, rope, sex toy, straight face

Well, whoever can answer this can become blog of the weekend!

It’s easy: Help me to improve my utterly romantic rose video…

YouTube Question

How to upload the best Youtube Video

I am looking for a freeware Video Editor where I can:

• crop my video (made with a rectangular Canon camera but I want to cut of the top to get a square video)
• put an overlay title on it that shows during the whole video
• resize it to 320×240 (as they say that’s the ideal Youtube format?)
• save it in the best quality possible before uploading to Youtube, yet in the smallest up-loadable format (30Mb seems to upload still with my connection)

I do have Windows Movie Maker, but how do I:

• crop with it
• save a video to MPEG4 (Divx, Xvid) format.

According to Youtube: videos saved with the following settings convert and display the best:

• MPEG4 (Divx, Xvid) format
• 320×240 resolution
• MP3 audio
• 30 FPS

(MPEG4??? what kind of format is that anyways?)

Which free Video Editor saves into MPEG4 and does all the above?

Thanks and don’t forget to smell the roses!

Technorati Tags: 30mb, 4 steps, abcd, best quality, canon, canon camera, cartoon drawing, fps, free video editor, music, red man, rose drawings, roses, uploading, windows movie maker, youtube video

Is DoD the new RED in the war-against-HIV/Aids RED campaign?

DoD as in Do or Die! Oops, Department of Defense formerly known as Department of WAR (no kidding!!!) has done it again: using up taxpayers money to create more nonsense: a handheld lie detector…

New anti-terror weapon: Hand-held lie detector

U.S. troops in Afghanistan first to get new device; ‘red’ means you’re lying

The Defense Department says the portable device isn’t perfect, but is accurate enough to save American lives by screening local police officers, interpreters and allied forces for access to U.S. military bases, and by helping narrow the list of suspects after a roadside bombing. The device has already been tried in Iraq and is expected to be deployed there as well. “We’re not promising perfection — we’ve been very careful in that,” said Donald Krapohl, special assistant to the director at the Defense Academy for Credibility
Assessment, the midwife for the new device.

Some of the short comings of the device:

• both the proponents and critics agree on one thing: This new device is likely to be less accurate than a polygraph, because it gathers less physiological information.
• oops: gathering less physiological information in a war zone where everybody is ‘de facto’ stressed out… that’s going to be as accurate as measuring the distance between the earth and the moon with your thumb…
• So a US solder will ask an Afghan : "did you put this bomb here"? (just after an explosion… which triggers lots of emotions anyway…) and the Afghan most likely needs a translator…
• so how do you narrow the list of suicide bomber suspects after a roadside???

Really DoD: WHO YOU GONNA ASK?

Oh well: if we can go to war in Iraq and spend billions with no results, then why not create a device with equally no results… lead by example!

How long can you laugh before you cry?

Now which one of these you want to interrogate…

Can we use the new DoD device on politicians?

Really: can all politicians use the device when they are giving their next speech? Just for the fun of it ‘red’ for embarrassing

I mean really Colin Powell: is that anthrax you are carrying?

• if yes: if it breaks, wouldn’t that wipe out the United Nations Security Council? ‘red’ for embarrassing
• if no: then who are you trying to fool? ‘red’ for embarrassing

Or was it yet another publicity stunt (gone real bad after 4000 US dead soldiers…) like selling fast cars as if they went as fast as the operation needed for adding the boobs to the model (not the car model, the babe model sitting on it).

‘red’ for hot

The RED Campaign DOD for embarrassing

Back in January 2006 U2’s Bono launched RED : a new global brand or associated product code.

Gisele Bundchen having sex with … oops
Gisele Bundchen and a Masai warrior
in lots of RED because
red lips, red cars, red clothes…
red makes money!
Yes: the new DoD lie detectors makes lots of money for yet another useless device

The aim of the Real RED Campaign is that :

a share of profits from ‘Red’ branded products
(American Express, Gap, Converse, Motorola, Giorgio Armani…
selling T-shirts, footwear, sunglasses, handphones credit card
in red or a RED logo)
will be used
to fight against Aids in Africa.

RED for a real cause…

But in the case of the handheld lie detector: just another red wasted… Trying to fund yourself DOD …

Technorati Tags: allied forces, credibility assessment, d epartment, defense academy, distance between the earth and the moon, dod, earth and the moon, gisele bundchen having sex, handheld lie detector, hiv aids, interpreters, invention, midwife, military bases, police officers, polygraph, proponents, short comings, suicide bomber, terror weapon, troops in afghanistan, war zone

What you do next

• if your name is John Chow: leave a comment and say Thanks!
• if your name is not John Chow, then post his video in any unappropriate place you can

John Chow’s shitty routine

Just Google for John Chow shit and you will find a lot of people thinking bad things about John Chow. Well, that’s because John Chow is !

But since he was my inspiration for starting a blog about how to make money online, we might as well do something back for him and post his video which he hopes will go viral. There you go: any advertisement is good advertisement.

Now before you click the play button: some things you need to know:

• if you hate a guy named Gary, keep him in mind during the video
• if you don’t want a silly song buzzing you the rest of the day about "… in his pa-ants, … in his pa-ants", you are advised not to watch this John Chow video!
• this video could end you up thinking "John Chow: I am so tired and so sick of your shit it’s over", so be warned!
• just ask yourself why he is wearing an affiliate T-Shirt…

John Chow talks about the meaning of life or so…

How to make money from the Internet with John Chow?

It took me a long time to find out John Chow’s strategy to make money online, but this video shows it: "it’s all about making buzz".

Once the buzz attracts loads and loads of visitors then:

• start advertising his brainchild TTZ
• look for advertisers that love to be seen around a buzz.

In other words:

write a blog to attract visitors, and then
send them to places where they will be monetized.

Like GO TO Adopt a puppy for FREE now!

So if they asked me how I knew raccoon shit was blue…well… John Chow’s class: dismissed

Hidden ladies toilet bowl cam

As usual people keep on adding their URL, and yesterday on April fools day I got this link which shows the promised toilet bowl cam below.

Toilet Bowl Cam

Technorati Tags: advertisement, blog, bowl cam, google, how to make money, inspiration, John Chow, play button, rest of the day, shitty, silly song, toilet bowl, toilet spy, toilet voyeur

Where men go, rats will follow…

And that’s exactly what Ratty Papersurfers do: they follow Daddy Papersurfer: the most funniest blogger in the UK!

The reason why they follow Daddy Papersurfer is because he is one of the rare humans carrying the ideal hiding place of the Ratty Papersurfer: a unique cardboard box head case.

Ratty Papersurfer niche habitat

Ratty Papersurfer disease

Ratty Papersurfers are quite funny, intelligent and harmless rats.

In rare cases though people bitten by Ratty Papersurfers have been seen copying
behavior that can be tracked back to the rat in question, like illustrated below:

Ratty Papersurfer disease example

Tabby, or not tabby ! Cats the question!

Cats are always the answer to any rat plague, but not when it comes to Ratty Papersurfers. These rats do outsmart any tabby cat due to their specialized diet: they only feed on peas.

To put the theory to the test: Gregor Mendel did some famous laboratory tests and it showed that rats only fed with peas did outlive their counterparts that weren’t fed at all… Survival of the fittest or survival of the most intelligent?

Yes, although these days Ratty Papersurfers are only rarely spotted in Europe (UK and Surfugal that is), these rats are actually big brothers of the not so intelligent Chinese bamboo rat. Here’s the story:

Ratty Papersurfers struck a deal with the panda bears:

"if you don’t touch my peas, I won’t touch your bamboo"…

Sounded a fair enough deal for the panda bear, yet it isn’t rocket science: try to swallow a fresh bamboo tree yourself and tell us how nutritious that was… So peas grow brains: rest my case.

You can follow the latest news about Ratty Papersurfer here.

Technorati Tags: blogger, cardboard box, counterparts, daddy papersurfer, diet, europe, fun, head case, hiding place, laboratory tests, lolcats, lolrats, love, niche, panda, panda bears, PETS, rare cases, rat plague, rats, ratty papersurfer, ratty papersurfer disease, survival, tabby cat, tabby cats